“Once a week, Father Russell would come in for “Heavy Mystery” time. And we would save all our weird questions for Father Russell. In fact, we would make up strange questions. The class would take a whole week thinking up trick questions for Father Russell. ‘Hey, hey, hey Father! Hey, uh, if God is all-powerful, can he make a rock so big that he himself can't lift it? Ha, ha, heeeeey! We got him now! Ah, ha, ha!’ Or else you’d take a very simple sin and surround it with the most bizarre circumstances you could imagine...to try to, you know, relieve the guilt in the sin. We would usually end up with the, uh, statement, ‘Would that then be a sin then, Father?’”
So, here is an example. There was one sin which was not receiving communion during Easter time. You had to perform your ‘Easter duty’. As good Catholics we had to receive communion once between Ash Wednesday and Pentecost Sunday and if we didn’t receive it, it was considered a mortal sin. Provided, of course, we had said to ourselves, ‘Hey, I’m not going do it this year!’ And, there were not many mortal sins on that, but many of us boys went to Venial City on Easter duty and so we would ask the priest ‘Hey, Father, hey, uh.’ Remember guys would leave their hand up after they got called on, right? And the priest would say, ‘What are you, the Statue of Liberty, Dunn?’ ‘Oh, sorry Father. Anyways, Father. Suppose that you didn’t make your Easter duty...and it’s Pentecost Sunday...the last day...and you’re on a ship at sea...and the chaplain goes into a coma...but you wanted to receive. And then it’s Monday, too late...but then you cross the International Date Line!’ ‘Yes, I’m sure God will take that into account. Sit down, Woozie.’
So, here is an example. There was one sin which was not receiving communion during Easter time. You had to perform your ‘Easter duty’. As good Catholics we had to receive communion once between Ash Wednesday and Pentecost Sunday and if we didn’t receive it, it was considered a mortal sin. Provided, of course, we had said to ourselves, ‘Hey, I’m not going do it this year!’ And, there were not many mortal sins on that, but many of us boys went to Venial City on Easter duty and so we would ask the priest ‘Hey, Father, hey, uh.’ Remember guys would leave their hand up after they got called on, right? And the priest would say, ‘What are you, the Statue of Liberty, Dunn?’ ‘Oh, sorry Father. Anyways, Father. Suppose that you didn’t make your Easter duty...and it’s Pentecost Sunday...the last day...and you’re on a ship at sea...and the chaplain goes into a coma...but you wanted to receive. And then it’s Monday, too late...but then you cross the International Date Line!’ ‘Yes, I’m sure God will take that into account. Sit down, Woozie.’
– George Carlin
No comments:
Post a Comment